I am Catholic and Gay

Pat Gothman |

You can’t fix being gay. All you can do is learn how to love and realize you were never broken to begin with.

The Catholic Church gives men who experience only same-sex attractions - gay guys - three options.

You can become a priest.

You can join a religious order.

You can live a single life.

All three are expected to be celibate.

I spent years trying each and what I can say definitively is that they don't work.  They don't fix being gay because being gay isn't being broken.  They are all beautiful, if rare, vocations.  But forcing them upon men who are made to fall in love will only cause pain.

It took a decade, but I finally realized I was made for romantic relationships too.  And I fell in love with the man I call my fiancé.  And he has taught me about self-sacrifice and companionship and all those good things I thought I would never experience because everything within me wanted them with a man. 

But the funny thing about self-sacrifice and companionship and love - they bring you closer to God.  They don't fix your sexuality, they fulfill it.  You discover where those desires are leading you and how they make you a better person, someone after God's own heart.