The Sunday Project
Open the Door
Pentecost Sunday |
By Eilis
When the day of Pentecost had come, they were all together in one place. And suddenly a sound came from heaven like the rush of a mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting. And there appeared to them tongues as of fire, distributed and resting on each one of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. Now there were dwelling in Jerusalem Jews, devout men from every nation under heaven. And at this sound the multitude came together, and they were bewildered, because each one heard them speaking in his own language. And they were amazed and wondered, saying, "Are not all these who are speaking Galileans? And how is it that we hear, each of us in his own native language? Par'thians and Medes and E'lamites and residents of Mesopota'mia, Judea and Cappado'cia, Pontus and Asia, Phryg'ia and Pamphyl'ia, Egypt and the parts of Libya belonging to Cyre'ne, and visitors from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, Cretans and Arabians, we hear them telling in our own tongues the mighty works of God."
Therefore I want you to understand that no one speaking by the Spirit of God ever says "Jesus be cursed!" and no one can say "Jesus is Lord" except by the Holy Spirit. Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of working, but it is the same God who inspires them all in every one. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body -- Jews or Greeks, slaves or free -- and all were made to drink of one Spirit.
On the evening of that day, the first day of the week, the doors being shut where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, "Peace be with you." When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, "Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you." And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained."
Ten years ago, I went on my first silent retreat. If I had known that it would be silent, I’m not sure I would have attended. So, it was with a great deal of uncertainty and skepticism that I sat with my fellow retreatants for our opening prayer. The retreat directors then invited us into contemplative silence as they read the Gospel for Pentecost Sunday. We were instructed to listen for a word or phrase that stood out to us. As the weekend continued, we returned to this Gospel—paying attention to an image or our feelings that emerged.
I remember with absolute clarity the panic I felt when I kept hearing “when the doors were locked, where the disciples were for fear...” I told my director that I could picture a closet or hope chest of sorts in which I, myself hid, out of fear. In my mind, I had was able to control everything inside the closet—even when I let God in. My director looked at me and asked, “Don’t you think God is with you in that closet?” I was horrified at the thought and couldn’t begin to fathom that God was with me in my fear and in my running away from the call to journey with Jesus Christ.
That weekend, she asked me to pray with the line, “Jesus stood in their midst.” Where did I experience Jesus standing with me or hiding in the closet with me? When did I experience Jesus calling me out of the closet and asking me to trust that I was gifted with the Holy Spirit who would accompany me along the path of discernment?
When I am paralyzed with fear at the possibility of a new opportunity or moving out of complacency or authentically speaking my own, I return to the gift of that retreat. I remember that Jesus is always standing in the messiness of fear and anxiety and will be with me every step of the journey. I just have to open the door and take the first step forward.
Today, we all live in the unknown of COVID-19 as we begin to ease restrictions and navigate new normals. We are reminded that God is with us in our fear, trepidation, and grief. And, as so many of us grieve the deaths of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, and countless others lost to violence, we are unsure of the way forward and may wonder if God is with us in the midst of everything. From my retreat experience, I know that God is with us in every moment of every day. So, as we celebrate the great feast of Pentecost, we pray together, “Come, Holy Spirit and renew the face of the earth.”